Texting is both a blessing and a curse when you’re getting to know a guy. On the one hand, you have more time to think through your responses, and you might feel emboldened to say flirty things you wouldn’t ordinarily. On the other hand, interpreting his texts can seem like mission impossible, or you might feel baffled when he takes longer to respond than you’d like.
Because texting has become an integral part of the dating game, learning how to text a guy is an invaluable skill. One of the secrets to know how to get a guy to like you is to know what to say — and what not to say — in your messages. Proper texting etiquette can be make-or-break when starting a new relationship, so read on to find out what you should and shouldn’t do.
How to Text A Guy: Some Rules to Always Follow
A firm grasp on some basic ground rules is a critical part of learning how to flirt with a guy via text. Here are the sacred texting norms that you should never be broken.
Have a Reason for Texting Him
The first and most critical rule of all is to have a reason for texting him because nothing is worse than a chat headed nowhere.
We’re not saying you need to have a speech prepared or anything like that. But you do need to have a general idea of where you want the conversation to go, and keep your plan of action in mind before you hit send. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as there’s a purpose behind your text.
Here are a few ideas to spark banter naturally:
- Ask him how his day is going
- Make weekend plans with him
- Ask for his help with something
- Tell him about something interesting you’re doing
Avoid “Hi” Texts at All Costs
Our first rule flows nicely into our second rule. If you have a reason for texting him, there is no need to send him the dreaded “hi” text.
The “hi” text is the ultimate no, for several reasons. The first is that it’s super easy to ignore. You’re not asking anything of him. You’re not engaging him or setting a direction for the conversation. You’re just setting him up for what might be an endless string of texts that he has no time for.
The second reason to never text him “hey” is that it shows that you’re lazy. The message it conveys is that he’s undeserving of anything more elaborate — which is totally the opposite of what you want him to think! If he feels like he’s unworthy of your time, he has zero reasons to respond, so we’ll say it again: avoid sending this text at all costs.
Don’t Respond Immediately
Never underestimate the power of the chase. He’ll lose interest if you respond right away because he’ll feel like you’re too available. If you want to keep him intrigued, or if you want to know how to make him miss you, we’re here to tell you that responding in five seconds is the opposite of what you want to do. He can’t miss you if you don’t go away.
So take about as long to return his texts as he does for you. You may even want to wait a little longer, but remember — nothing too excessive. Nobody wants to wait two days to hear back from someone they’re interested in.
Show Him Your Independent Side
Just as responding at your leisure adds intrigue, so does occasionally making yourself unavailable. The perfect way to do this is when he texts you when you’re hanging out with your friends or on your way to a family event. Respond with a courtesy text telling him you’re unavailable, but you’ll get back to him later.
Keeping him at arm’s length in this way shows that you’re independent and have a life of your own. Trust us, this strategy will pay dividends down the road.
Be Careful About Your Tone
The most problematic part of texting is that it’s all too easy to misconstrue what some is saying.
Be extra careful about your tone when texting your love interest, and keep things light and fun with emojis and exclamation points. And if in doubt, refrain from pressing send. It’s far easier not to send an iffy text than to recover from one.
Also, always remember that you’re an adult, and you should text like one. Using excessive slang, abbreviations, or talking like a teenager is a huge turnoff. You might be pressed for time, but with the capabilities of smartphones these days, there is no reason to abbreviate endlessly.
Use Visual Language
The type of language that appeals most to men and women differs one hundred percent. Women love descriptive writing that stirs up our feelings, while men, on the other hand, respond to words that evoke images and stimulate their imagination.
For example, instead of saying, “I need to go get ready for our date,” say something like, “I’ve got to go take a hot, steamy shower before I see you tonight.” Using visual language like this will have him going crazy for you.
How to Text A Guy You Like: 3 Secrets Men Find Irresistible
Now that you know some messaging ground rules, let’s talk about how to attract a man via text. Here are three secrets that men find irresistible.
You may be doing a lot of getting to know him via text, but break up the seriousness now and again with some humor. Research shows that being funny when flirting is vital, most notably at the beginning of a relationship. You might say that laughter really is the way to his heart.
We’re not saying you need to be a comedian, but rather that you can use your funny side to win him over. Make a joke, tease him ever so slightly, and use humor to keep things light.
Send a Pic
Does something remind you of him? Take a picture of it and send it to let him know you’re thinking about him. You can also send him a pic of something you’re doing, like if you’re out with your girlfriends or working on your garden at home.
Pictures, when used appropriately, are a fantastic way to communicate with your crush. The caveat? It’s best to employ this secret when you’ve been texting for a while and have had some in-person interaction.
Plus, a well-timed selfie can be the perfect way to get him thinking about you. Just make sure it feels right, and please don’t bombard him with pictures, selfies, or otherwise. Less is more, at least in the beginning. And of course, sending him a pic is a great way to ask him to send you some, too.
Use a Pick-up Line
Remember how we said that one advantage of texting is saying things you wouldn’t dare to in person? If it’s hard for you to flirt heavily in person, texting is a less threatening way to show your interest.
Use a pick-up line (cheesy or otherwise), compliment him (“I just can’t stop thinking about how sexy you looked yesterday”), or even engage in a bit of dirty talk if you’re comfortable with that. Sexting isn’t for everybody, but if it’s your thing, it can be a great tool — especially if you’re already having sex.
We recommend using that visual language we talked about earlier to pique his desire. You can say something like, “tell me what you’re going to do to me on Saturday night” or “want to know what I’m wearing right now?”
Knowing how to tell if a guy likes you can be difficult, but texting is an excellent dating tool that we can use to our advantage. It gives us another place to interact with our crush, and allows us the freedom to flirt in ways that might be difficult in person. Plus, looking at his texts can give you an indication of his interest and spark in-person passion between you.
We hope you found these texting secrets useful, and remember to always abide by the texting rules we laid out at the beginning of this article. And we’d love to hear from you if you have any other tips and tricks to texting guys. Do you do something different? What texting secrets do you swear by? Let me know!